and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize