i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
