People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
