just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
