I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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