I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
