Pappa wants mamma naked
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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