thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
