yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Randomize
