its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
