it was like his penis was on wheels.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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