Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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