the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
