And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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