Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
