So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
