I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize