Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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