i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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