I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize