Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
