says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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