the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
