turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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