Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
