I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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