How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
