chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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