They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize