Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
