your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
