You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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