I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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