only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
