i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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