Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
