I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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