this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
