He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
