who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
