i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
