Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
