You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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