went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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