Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
