How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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