I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
