I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
