I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
