Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
