I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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