defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
