Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Someone signed my nipple.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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