I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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