Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
