So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
