Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
