Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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