everyone is single if you try hard enough
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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