Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
