Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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