So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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