Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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