I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize