Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
