I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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