Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(909): View more from California

how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?

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(765): View more from Indiana

I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant

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(703): View more from Virginia

got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon

(703): View more from Virginia

she was in a cheetah costume

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(440): View more from Ohio

I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.

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(845): View more from New York

There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.

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