so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
