He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
