Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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