): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
