everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize