ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Randomize