im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
