So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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