me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
