Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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