have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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